I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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