just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
