I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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