like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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