it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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