Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
