Me. At least after what I've been through.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
