You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
