i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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