What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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