We won't sleep together?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
