Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
