I just cut my nipple shaving
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So vagazzling was a success
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
