"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
