best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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