Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
the raccoons are back...
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