I will die if light touches me.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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