She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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