would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
