That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
