maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize