I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
