i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The uberlube is also flammable
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
