Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
