i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
