I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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