i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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