He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
