Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Randomize
