No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
