UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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