things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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