my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
