Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
