Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
