i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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