Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
