I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
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