She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
