I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it's great music for shaving your balls
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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