R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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