; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
