Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
