At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize