You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
