why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's the barista slut.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize