put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
