its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
