Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
