and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
