Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
