Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
