Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
