please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
