His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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