Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
