do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
