my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize