Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
