Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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