love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
