did you get engaged???
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
