The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
