I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize