they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Let's paint friendship bongs
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
